I'm Dreaming of a White (trash) Christmas

After all of the pre-holiday stress, hours of shopping, mounds of wrapping, and agonizing about money... Christmas suprisingly ended on a wonderful note. We spent Christmas Eve with family eating and drinking and generally being merry. As the evening wore on, the conversations began to deteriorate and soon an idea began to form. The following poem captures the essence of the 2006 White Trash Christmas...

Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the yard

not a reindeer was stirring

until Vince and Zack arrived.

The lights were all hung

on the gutters with care

in hopes that no perverts

would show their face there.

Vince in his ballcap and

Zack with his doll

had just pulled the truck up

to spread humiliation to all.

The doll (aptly named Candy)

was duct-taped up with a bow

to an innocent reindeer

she looked like a ho!

Vince and Zack laughed with glee

As Candy began to glow

lighted from beneath

it was definitely quite the show.

They snuck back to the truck

laughing at their work.

Carl knew Jim would be surprised

perhaps calling him a jerk.

And we heard them exclaim

As they drove out of sight

Merry Christmas to Jim

(let's blame John for it tonight)!